“Angelo, you are so not a typical Kuwaiti”.
Honestly, I have been hearing this sentence since the day I was born. Through my life, this sentence is always used in both negative and positive lights. For example, one friend of mine was so angry that I’m not good at playing football that he yelled “What kind of Kuwaiti who doesn’t know how to play a freaking football?” And another friend of mine was impressed that I read books for pleasure and she has said once “Wow Angelo, you read books? That is so not what a Kuwaiti would do”.
So, as you can see, being called untypical Kuwaiti guy can have its ups and downs. Thus, I have derived a list (based on my experiences) on what it takes for a person to be qualified as a typical Kuwait person. Please note that this post isn’t intended to be serious, or offensive for that matter. It’s for your pleasure only!
1. You are good at playing football but lack the footballer’s body
2. You love playing “Kout Bo Setah” but hate playing Uno
3. Your Playstation 2 can only play Winning Eleven
4. You eat with your bare hands…even when dine in a restaurant.
5. Your idea of “dating” is to chase girls around at “The Love Street”
6. You don’t read books for pleasure
7. Your taste in western music is based on the current, generated hype
8. You fart in front of your friends
9. You make the “KAAAK Laugh” at the movies
10. Beirut, London, and Bangkok are your ideal vacation spots
11. Your average cell phone bill is beyond 100KD
12. You cannot live without an “European Satellite Dish”.
13. You watch football more than an English man would normally watch
14. Your idea of liberalism is to drink and have sex but not to eat pork
15. You consider Stallone, Van Damme, and Segal as your favorite actors
16. Most of your jokes are based on Kuwaiti comedy plays
17. You cannot joke with your friends unless you cuss
18. Your cell phone is filled with jokes and pornographic text messages
19. You cannot accept girls as your friends or as colleagues
20. You always accept girls as your girlfriends
21. High school is your favorite period of your life
22. You smoke in the non-smoking areas
23. You think a dishdasha creates a true man
24. You want your wife to be an exact replica of your mother
25. You show (or pose) your muscles in your facebook and Hi5 accounts
26. You use famous football players and movie stars as your online avatars
27. Your English vocabulary is based on Rap music
28. You consider Gulf Road as a Formula-1 track
29. Your only use of English is when you use the “IRC language”
30. You cannot live without having a loan or a mortgage
Now, if you satisfy at least 10 conditions from the provided list then consider yourself a typical Kuwaiti man. Honestly, I can add more than 30 conditions but I had to stop at some point. Again, I hope you take this post as it’s originally intended. After all, I am a Kuwaiti and damn proud to be one.