Why I’ll Never Be A Doctor

Small conversation I came up with while playing sucking at Trauma Center: New Blood.

“Dr. Angelo, please begin the procedure. Yes, use the magical all-healing antibiotic gel to close up those small lacerations”.

I splash the antibiotic gel all over the patient’s body.

“It’s awesome, isn’t it? The future sure is great, what with gels can be used these days.
Okay, make a small incision and we’ll take a look inside”.

I make a long incision that almost sliced the patient’s chest in half.



“Doctor, what the fuck are you doing? You’re killing our patient!”

“I’m just — I’m detaching these pacemaker wires, right? And I was going to move it from the heart to the tray, you know, so there aren’t any wires in her chest cavity. Right?”

“Are you fucking mad? You have to detach both of the wires before you do anything else, touch anything else! If you so much as touch the first wire to remove it before detaching the others, you’ll totally kill our patient! Kill her dead!”

“But it’s already out of her heart. It’s not even hitched up anymore, see? So I’ll just get it out of the way–”

A massive hemorrhage erupts. The patient’s heart spontaneously explodes. Locusts consume her brain and crawl out of her eyes.

“Hey, way to go Doctor. You just killed our patient. Well, let’s start over so your reign of terror can carry onward”.

“Ahh fuck!

*sigh* “Well, how about we close up the patient’s chest with stitches?”

I swiftly stitch the patient’s breasts together by mistake.

9 responses to this post.

  1. I’m neither good with that game one the DS or Wii :/


  2. I need to get a ds lol


  3. VERY intriguing.. I did not get the pacemaker drift though, but I am sure it made sense

    I think I will check it out

    Hey, I watched The Bubble , Thanks, amazing movie indeeeeed


  4. Posted by Sushi on April 10, 2008 at 8:00 am

    Wanasa sounds like fun!! I’ll get me one!

    Did you check out the one on Agatha Christie yet on Wii?


  5. 😮 I was a doctor once.


  6. looool! Thats funny!


  7. im so glad ur not a doctor


  8. lol! Thats actually funny :p


  9. @3baid

    It’s kinda easy at first but then it keeps getting harder that almost impossible to earn a good grade.


    Or a Wii


    I’m glad you loved it. I’ll make sure to watch it myself.


    I’m surprised you still haven’t played it yet.

    No, the reviwes weren’t that encouraging but I bet my mom would love it since she’s a big Agatha Christie fan.


    Really! Do tell please.


    Ouch that hurts.

    LOL, I’m kidding.


    Glad you enjoyed an script from my imagination 😛


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