Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

KFC Colonel Sanders Is So Kawaii!

The wildfire success of Kentucky Fried Chicken in Japan is the stuff that makes business textbook writers giddy. An all-American institution was successfully turned into a staple of Japanese fast food thanks to cultural awareness, adaptation, and clever marketing. Among the things done in KFC’s eastward expansion was to position the chain’s founder, Colonel Sanders, as something of a mascot figure. Many Japanese KFC branches still have a life-size statue replica of the Colonel somewhere on the premises.

However, things got a little bit outlandish in the very youthful district of Akihabara. Many KFC owners started to dress the all-time American Colonel into a very otaku-oriented maid uniform. However, for those of you who aren’t into cross-dressing, rest assured, as the KFC headquarters in America told the Akihabara branch to stop dressing Colonel Sanders in a maid costume apparently, so he has been returned to his original self. Although, there’s something really attracting in that maid uniform. You know you shouldn’t be gawking at it, but it’s just so bizarrely compelling that you can’t turn away…

  • For more pictures, click HERE.

A Dairy of A Videogame RPG Hero

Note: This is a dairy of a typical RPG hero that I totally made up. It is not based on a particular game.

  • Day One ~ Fetchcrap Village

It was a hell day in Fetchcrap Village. I’ve been running around like a madman for the last 5 hours. It seems everyone around here is lazy as always, and I am the designated guy to run around and fetch some stupid items and stuff from all over the place. I played a jump rope game with some kids, and apparently, they give away cool items based on the number of jumps made consecutively. I made 100 jumps without falling and they rewarded me with a nice piece of accessory that boosts my attack power by 30. Nice! Although, I don’t know if I ever going to need it since I’m stuck in this village for the rest of my life. Anyway, I have to go to sleep now since I have to retrieve some fish from the neighboring harbor.

  • Day Three ~ Fetchcrap Village

What the hall happened here? I’m been away for a couple of days and my town is completely destroyed and everyone has been killed. Who have done this shit? It seems my destiny has been changed, and I am set to embark on a vengeance journey that shall allow me to grow from level 1 to level 73 or something. I hope I can convince some crazy people to accompany me on this trip. I am in a desperate need for a healer, and a black mage isn’t bad either too.

  • Day Twenty One ~ Defecating City

God I’m awesome. I have been able to recruit more than 4 members in my party, and one of them is a smoking hot healer who apparently has amnesia after falling from the sky. I’m waiting for the right opportunity to bang her. I spent most of the day shopping for equipments, weapons and items for the journey. Man, some weapons were darn expensive but I’m pretty sure they will come in handy. Thank God the monsters in this area are full of dough. I mean the other day we defeated a monster and he dropped 10,000 Gils with 5000 EXP, 100 AP, and 20 SP. Yeah, don’t even try asking me what those mean, all I know is that they are making me stronger so that’s quite enough for me. The Inn in this town is sure is noisy but the beds are quite comfy. Time for some sleep.

  • Day Fifty Four ~ The Tall Boner Tower

Fuck this shit. I’ve been just defeated by my evil twin brother (who I didn’t know he existed in the first place) with a single slash from his sword. And what makes things worse is that my party companion, Victor, has been a traitor all this time. I need to get stronger fast so I can kick his ass. But first, we have to awaken the dormant spirits all across the world so they can aid us on this quest. Ahhh, I think this is going to take a while.

  • Day One Thousand & Thirty Five ~ Worldia Field Map

Check me out bitches! I am at level 92 and I have the best set of equipments and weapons like you can never imagine. I have more than 1,000,000 Gils, which should come in handy after I kick the crap out of my evil twin’s ass; I’m planning to retire and buy my very own island. But man, it sure took me a lot to get those ultimate weapons.  Right now, I have to fight a secret boss in the abyss of Earth, and apparently he’s 2 times tougher than my evil twin brother. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a big pain in the butt.

Sexy Videogame Pickup Lines

For those of you who desire a girlfriend or a wife that really digs videogames, I present thee, videogames-related pickup lines. I have no ideas if those pickup lines actually work or not but try them with Gamestop female employee first and see what happens. Also, I might need to warn you that some of those lines are a bit vulgar and might give a nun a heart attack. You’ve been warned!

  • “If I do you on hard, can I unlock your “extra costume”?
  • “I know how Mario must fell, cause I really want to clean your pipes”
  • “My console features rumble”
  • “You must be made by Nintendo because my stylus has been dying to touch you”
  • “Girl, you got me like Warioware. I’m touched!
  • “You can’t be Phoenix Wright, because I have no objection to you, baby”
  • “If you’re a Devil, you May Cry by the time I’m finished with ya”
  • “You remind me of a game of Tetris – you always want the long ones”
  • “Mind if I Pac my Man in there”?
  • “What do you say I take my flag to your base and score”?
  • “Give me five minutes and I’ll take you to your Limit Break”
  • “How you and your friend join me on a search for the Tri-Force”?
  • “Wanna be my Cooking Mama? Cause I have a big sausage that cannot wait to be cooked”!

Why I’ll Never Be A Doctor

Small conversation I came up with while playing sucking at Trauma Center: New Blood.

“Dr. Angelo, please begin the procedure. Yes, use the magical all-healing antibiotic gel to close up those small lacerations”.

I splash the antibiotic gel all over the patient’s body.

“It’s awesome, isn’t it? The future sure is great, what with gels can be used these days.
Okay, make a small incision and we’ll take a look inside”.

I make a long incision that almost sliced the patient’s chest in half.

” Dr. Angelo. Now just…HEY HEY WHOA HEY WAIT HEY WHAT HEY STOP!”

“Hm?”

“Doctor, what the fuck are you doing? You’re killing our patient!”

“I’m just — I’m detaching these pacemaker wires, right? And I was going to move it from the heart to the tray, you know, so there aren’t any wires in her chest cavity. Right?”

“Are you fucking mad? You have to detach both of the wires before you do anything else, touch anything else! If you so much as touch the first wire to remove it before detaching the others, you’ll totally kill our patient! Kill her dead!”

“But it’s already out of her heart. It’s not even hitched up anymore, see? So I’ll just get it out of the way–”

A massive hemorrhage erupts. The patient’s heart spontaneously explodes. Locusts consume her brain and crawl out of her eyes.

“Hey, way to go Doctor. You just killed our patient. Well, let’s start over so your reign of terror can carry onward”.

“Ahh fuck!

*sigh* “Well, how about we close up the patient’s chest with stitches?”

I swiftly stitch the patient’s breasts together by mistake.

Oprah’s Va-Jay-Jay

Courtesy of The Soup

The Last Supper!?

The Last Supper – Star Wars

last-supper-star-wars.jpg

The Last Supper – Battle Star Galactica

last-supper-battle-star.jpg

The Last Supper – Super Smash Bros. Brawl

last-supper-nintendo.jpg

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE

Hot Girls With Douchebags

typical-douchebag.jpg

This blog sure has put a smile on face. The premise of the blog is quite simple really. The author simply post some pictures of hot girls with total and complete douchebags from the US. The commentary is funny but the poses are funnier. Check it out yourself. Girls, prepare to be either disgusted or turned on. Allow me to share with you my top 3 douchebags:

#1 Douchebag: Are You Looking At Me?

are-you-looking-at-me.jpg

#2 Prom Date With Extremely Tanned Douchebags

douchebag-_2.jpg

#3 A “Waxed” Douchebag

douchebag-_3.jpg

Doesn’t this guy reminds you of this guy?

My Pizza Delivery Guy Was Abducted By Aliens!

30minutesxe3.png

Recently, Domino’s Pizza has started a fierce campaign that they can deliver their pizza in less than 30 minutes. Previously, they used to say that it would take 45 minutes to deliver the pizza to my place whenever I called them. However, they did manage to stick to their words; I have been receiving my pizza in less than 30 minutes ever since they started the new campaign. Maybe they recently recruited more delivery guys or invented an ultra fast oven; I honestly don’t know what their new secret.

Anyway, not too long ago, we had some snow showers in my area and I was so cold to do anything that I decided to call Domino’s for a hot pie with extra cheese. The delivery guy took more than 30 minutes (50 minutes to be specific) to reach my place. When I opened the door, the delivery guy apologized for being late but I told him I understand since the weather was terrible. And then he smiled and took a pen from his pocket and made a check mark on the right side of the pizza box. When I got back to the apartment, I inspected the pizza box for the mark he made with his pen. I laughed. This is what the delivery guy marked for his delay:

pizza-box.jpg

PS: Don’t you think the post title would make a hilarious movie?

Are You A Typical Kuwaiti Man?

kuwaitis-relaxing.jpg

“Angelo, you are so not a typical Kuwaiti”.

Honestly, I have been hearing this sentence since the day I was born. Through my life, this sentence is always used in both negative and positive lights. For example, one friend of mine was so angry that I’m not good at playing football that he yelled “What kind of Kuwaiti who doesn’t know how to play a freaking football?” And another friend of mine was impressed that I read books for pleasure and she has said once “Wow Angelo, you read books? That is so not what a Kuwaiti would do”.

So, as you can see, being called untypical Kuwaiti guy can have its ups and downs. Thus, I have derived a list (based on my experiences) on what it takes for a person to be qualified as a typical Kuwait person. Please note that this post isn’t intended to be serious, or offensive for that matter. It’s for your pleasure only!

What Makes You A Typical Kuwaiti Man?

1. You are good at playing football but lack the footballer’s body
2. You love playing “Kout Bo Setah” but hate playing Uno
3. Your Playstation 2 can only play Winning Eleven
4. You eat with your bare hands…even when dine in a restaurant.
5. Your idea of “dating” is to chase girls around at “The Love Street”
6. You don’t read books for pleasure
7. Your taste in western music is based on the current, generated hype
8. You fart in front of your friends
9. You make the “KAAAK Laugh” at the movies
10. Beirut, London, and Bangkok are your ideal vacation spots
11. Your average cell phone bill is beyond 100KD
12. You cannot live without an “European Satellite Dish”.
13. You watch football more than an English man would normally watch
14. Your idea of liberalism is to drink and have sex but not to eat pork
15. You consider Stallone, Van Damme, and Segal as your favorite actors
16. Most of your jokes are based on Kuwaiti comedy plays
17. You cannot joke with your friends unless you cuss
18. Your cell phone is filled with jokes and pornographic text messages
19. You cannot accept girls as your friends or as colleagues
20. You always accept girls as your girlfriends
21. High school is your favorite period of your life
22. You smoke in the non-smoking areas
23. You think a dishdasha creates a true man
24. You want your wife to be an exact replica of your mother
25. You show (or pose) your muscles in your facebook and Hi5 accounts
26. You use famous football players and movie stars as your online avatars
27. Your English vocabulary is based on Rap music
28. You consider Gulf Road as a Formula-1 track
29. Your only use of English is when you use the “IRC language”
30. You cannot live without having a loan or a mortgage

Now, if you satisfy at least 10 conditions from the provided list then consider yourself a typical Kuwaiti man. Honestly, I can add more than 30 conditions but I had to stop at some point. Again, I hope you take this post as it’s originally intended. After all, I am a Kuwaiti and damn proud to be one.

The Brazilian Waitress

adriana_lima4_350.jpg

Last night the guys and me went to a grand Brazilian restaurant we have in Downtown for a birthday celebration for one of our friends. The way they serve the food there reminds me of a Lebanese restaurant I once experienced in Dubai. Basically, there is a color shaped cylinder placed in the middle of the table and it had green, yellow, and red strips from the top to the bottom. When you flip the green side upward, the waiters just keep bringing you food like none stop and when you flip in to the red side, they simply stop serving food to your table. In our condition, let’s just say we never flipped it back to the red side through the whole evening. However, the highlight of the evening was the energetic and amusing waitress that was serving us drinks. We certainly had delightful and memorable moments with her. Allow me to share them with you.

We Are Simply Kuwaitis

The Waitress: You guys look like Arabs, right?
All of us: YES!
The Waitress: Where are you guys from?
All of us: KUWAIT!
The Waitress (joking): Kuwait? Why the hell are you here? There’s no oil here.

Brazil Vs. Argentina

My friend: What do you think of Argentina’s soccer team?
The Waitress (whispers): Can you keep a secret?
My friend: Absolutely
The Waitress: Between you and me, Argentina is like the Israel of the Latin world
My friend and I (astonished): …………

Girls of Rio de Janeiro

Me: So where are you from specifically in Brazil?
The Waitress: I am from Rio de Janeiro
Me (gasps): I always wanted to go there. What is the best thing there?
The Waitress: Sexy girls. And sexy girls who know how to dance
Me (laughing): Seriously?
The Waitress: Yeah of course. Look at me. Am I not sexy enough for you?
Me (still laughing): oh no, you are certainly sexy, and cute too. Angelina Jolie is eating her heart out right now
The Waitress (smiles): Hmph! I thought so too

Tea? But Alcohol Is Better

The Waitress: I heard you Arab people always serve tea when somebody visits your house or office. Is that true?
Me: Yes, like most of the time. But that’s usually common in the Gulf countries
The Waitress: And I heard that if I didn’t accept it, it would be an insult. Correct?
Me: That’s true if you were served by the Bedouins
The Waitress: Ahh, you mean the people of the desert. I mean they don’t live in the desert but their grandfathers used to live there
Me (troubled): I…I guess you can say that
The Waitress: What if I want coffee or soda?
Me: That’s OK. You can order whatever you want
The Waitress (smirks): And what if I wanted alcohol?
Me (in a whispery voice and smiling): Actually, you will find people who will actually serve you alcohol. At this day and age, it’s not entirely impossible
The Waitress (smiles): Really?
Me (in a whispery voice): Yes. And probably they serve it to you without even asking you in the first place