Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

United States of Obesity Map (2008)

Woot! Congratulations to Colorado (my State) for having the lowest percentage of obesity in all of the States in America, and thus becoming the leanest State comparing to the others. I can substantiate with the provided map and with CalorieLabs findings that a huge percentage of people in Colorado are health freaks, especially in Boulder and Colorado Springs. The students in my university are certainly in top shape, and attending the gym is almost a required schedule in their academic life. I won’t deny the fact that witnessing those athletic youths (whether they were men or women) had certainly motivated me to get into shape and I’m glad to confess that I actually lost tons of weight comparing to the late years of high school in Kuwait. The determination is certainly awe-inspiring.

Good job Coloradoans! Keep up the good work-out!

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The Bitch Has Done It!

I was just about to go though my Edge magazine that I arrived in my mailbox early that day. I just came from school and decided to feed my affection for videogame journalism by reading several articles that were written in the magazine when my cell phone rang its familiar Zelda ringtone. For the sake of anonymousness, let’s name the caller Jay.

Jay: The bitch…the bitch has done it!

Me: What? Who’s the bitch? What happened? What the hell are you talking about?

I was startled! I’ve never heard Jay sounded so troubled like that. The guy is usually calm and collective. He even has a peculiar air of refinement that usually reserved for princes and priests.

Jay: Mariah! She came back from her early evening stroll around the neighborhood, and she came dribbled with blood, in her…in her sensitive area. The bitch had sex!

I threw my head back at my seat and eventually my whole body pushed the chair backward, nearly bending it. I made an uproarious laugh.

Me: You don’t know, maybe she got raped.

Jay: No time for technicality. She had sex and that’s it. She’s all broken.

Me: So? It’s not like you were reserving her for yourself. It’s not like she is going to marry you one day. Surely, even you can do better.

My sarcasm flew through the roof.

Jay: What if she got pregnant. Ever thought of that?

Me: Ahh, now, that’s a problem. I don’t think you are willing to take care of her baby.

Jay: Of course not.

Me: I know, just throw her baby in an orphanage or something.

Jay: Are you insensitive or something? I cannot do that, especially in the early months. The baby needs his/her mother.

Was I? Yeah, sure, I might have sounded insensitive, but I was just trying to help the poor guy.

Me: Okay, hang on. I’m coming to your place right now.

I arrived at Jay’s clean and pretentious apartment. Jay’s taste in décor and selective furniture is extraordinary. Hell, he will even amaze the guys from “The Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” so impressively that they will revert back to straight hood. And of course, all of that didn’t do nothing for Mariah.

And there she was, Mariah, setting comfortably at her reserved chair near the window that was facing the balcony. Her “lover” might still be outside right now. She seemed she had no care in the world as usual, not like Jay who was virtually about to explode from the stress. He was cracking his fingers that you swear they were being broken on every crack. That was his way of reliving stress. I always hated that nerve-racking habit.

I looked at Mariah and she seemed to look me back. I always knew she had a resentful feeling toward me. I smirked.

Me: Way to go girl. I never thought you had it in you.

Jay: Enough with your sarcasm. Can you help me out, please?

Me: Well, let’s have a doctor check on her.

Jay: I was thinking about that. You will be coming with us.

Me: What? No, I had my fair share of drama for tonight. That’s a matter between you and your Mariah. Sorry dude, I can’t.

Jay: Oh, C’mon, don’t be such a jerk. I need you. You know that I get easily terrified from these kind of clinics. C’mon, I’ll even treat you to that expensive French sundae ice cream you always love. You know, with lush whip cream and a cherry on top.

Me: Dude, I don’t think it would be appropriate to have cherries on the day that Mariah popped hers.

Jay: Excuse me from your pretentious sarcasm for now and just tag along with us.

Me: Fine. I’ll “tag along”. But I don’t want a sundae. There’s a used game I saw the other day from GameStop but didn’t had the chance to buy it. You’ll go and be nice boy and get it for me. It’s only $19.99.

Jay: Fine, whatever. If I had to be a bitch I’ll do it even.

Me: Dude, I’m just keeping up with the theme we are having here.

Many Days Later

I was with Jay at the clinic. Mariah was having her birth operation in the emergency room, and I was sitting on the sofa reading Pet’s magazine in the waiting hall. Jay was circling the whole clinic and even borrowed few cigarettes from the nurse and went outside to smoke. The poor guy; this incident made him return to smoking all over again after his impressive commitment in quitting 18 months ago. The doctor finally came back from the emergency room and Jay walked swiftly toward him, like a moth attracted to flame.

Doc: Congratulation, young man. You have a twin.

Jay’s jaws literally dropped to the floor from this shocking twisted news. I was just about to sarcastically comment at that when Jay looked at me sharply to my eyes.

Jay: DON’T!

I shut up.

Doc: Ahem, would like to see her now?

Jay: Yes. Please.

I “tagged along”. I might as well watch the finale after witnessing the drama that spanned for two months. And there she was, Mariah, with her two little…kittens. They were so adorable, and even Mariah. She had this glow that only mothers possess. You can tell she was equally exhausted and somehow happy. Jay brushed her furry tiny head and kissed it. He stared at the kittens and stroked their heads gently as well. I sat back and watched the small family that came together throw all of this. Luckily, the girls that were living next to Jay’s apartment agreed on taking care of the two little kittens while Jay continued on harboring his precious little Mariah without any extra baggage from her kittens. However, living next-door meant that Jay could bring Mariah to see her little babies anytime any day, and that would make Jay  happy because he got to spend it with two hot chicks, and thus, everybody’s happy except for me because the game got sold it and didn’t have the chance to get it.

Fin

Which Woman Has The Perfect Body?

Women favored the slim body of Tillie, while men lusted over Anna's size 12 figure.

This post might be a little NSFW due to the images attached, so be cautious.

The British website Fabulous Mag has conducted a survey asking the visitors of their website (men and women) about their most ideal body type for a woman, and the results came quite shocking. It seems men and women have very different ideas about the perfect female figure. According to the results, it has been found that:

  • Women yearn for the waspish waist of a size 8 model; men hanker after a curvy size 12 with hips.
  • When men were asked what they would alter about their partner’s appearance, the majority said they were perfectly happy. In fact, the only thing they’d wish for that their women would love their bodies as much as they do.
  • When asked about which female celebrity has the best body, men chose the English model/actress Kelly Brook as their ideal prototype, while women favored the English actress/model/singer/TV presenter Myleene Klass.

So girls, don’t blame us men for the long hours you stay in the gym or for the extensive months of deprivation you have to put up through to gain the perfect body. It’s your own delusions that have been keeping you away from that Haagen-Dazs pint in your fridge. Us men are reasonable creatures (well, sort of), we ain’t demanding much.

  • For a much detailed report, click HERE and HERE

Kelly Brook - Men's favorite body for women

Myleene Klass - Women's ideal body for women

What Stress Can Do To You?

Stress can take it’s toll on you, although granted, it varies from person to person. Take this gentleman for instance who went from happy and fresh-faced to weary and shriveled in a span of in three years, if these photos are to be believed that is. The price paid for the life of a news anchor seems high indeed. And here I am, thinking that with its endless supply of anime, manga, and videogames, Japan would be stress-free.

Observations In Mishref Walkway

In keeping up with mom’s sudden régime in maintaining my weight (and losing more), she has also compiled a daily schedule for me to walk in Mishref Walkway, which is something I genuinely and highly approve of. It isn’t my first time in this particular walkway but it sure has been a long time since I’ve ever stridden there. However, the social psychologist in me couldn’t help but to monitor the crowd that uses the walkway, and thus, I brought together some general observations that I summed up below:

  • Time doesn’t remain a major obstacle to the visitors, as the walkway is generously crowded on each different time of the day. There are a surprising number of people in the morning, which is something I didn’t expect. However, I couldn’t help but to notice that is commonly packed out on weekends. I predict as the weather gets hotter over time, more people will become nocturnal and walk in the evening.
  • The “social gene” that Kuwaitis possess is still robust and active among the inhabitants of the walkway. It is quite uncommon to find to two people walking together but not talking or socializing. The intensity of the exercise is irrelevant; I have found several joggers and runners exchanging small words while committing on their activity.
  • Women clad in abayas and burqas is a common sightseeing as well, and they even remain in increasing numbers than those who do not wear them. However, further investigation regarding the manner revealed that those women aren’t necessarily veiled, and they only cover themselves when walking. The reason behind such behavior is that some of them wished to be anonymous from people who might know them because some women tend to gossip on who is trying to lose weight, and these kind of talks lean to be unfavorable to the woman who is trying to lose weight.
  • Unlike the women, the men using the walkway are generally fit, and their true intention is to sustain their fitness instead of losing weight. However, those who walk in purpose of losing weight are usually accompanied by their friends, and those who walk or run alone are usually fitted. Behavioral Psychology might explain this behavior in that overweight men become less intimated when they are accompanied by friends and family and shelter them from unnecessary attention from others.
  • The walkway is mostly used by the citizens; although, few South Asian expats are found there in the purpose of striking a conversation with the maids who accompany the children in the playground. Westerns expats generally use the walkway from early morning to late afternoon. Further investigation revealed that the expats usually prefer walking in the outside walkway of The Palms and the Scientific Center in Salmiya.
  • Other forms of walking aren’t commonly observed but exist; the females usually perform power walking while the males favor jogging and running instead.
  • Very few people remain hydrated while active but there are several large water fountains that are suitable for drinking along the walkway.
  • The walkway is 5 kilometers long (which is 10 kilometers upon walking back and forth once). However, most people usually walk between 6 or 7 kilometers. That is, walking for 3 or 3.5 kilometers once and repeats it while heading back.
  • Surprisingly, flirting (or harassing) among the walkers is either rare or nonexistent. There is a general amount of respect among the walkers.

And that concludes my observations. I might update the post upon further observations as I continue visiting the walkway. I’m also interesting in visiting other walkways in the country and conduct my observations and investigate the consistencies.

No Machboos For You

I have mentioned before that I haven’t been to Kuwait or seen my family for more than a year and a half, so you can pretty much expect the reaction from my mother when she first saw me. Since our last meeting, I’ve lost a respectable amount of weight, which made her a little bit overprotective on what I eat because she doesn’t want me to become fat again. She has imposed a strict rice-free diet on the house, and all the food has to be grilled, steamed, or “ovened”. For the last week, I haven’t had a rice-cooked meal in my household, but I did have some when I visited my aunt and grandparent house.

However, the interesting part of all this is when I visit my grandparent house. My grandmother took a complete different reaction than my mom regarding my weight loss. She was all-generous, and committed in feeding me rice and lambs on every visit. She even sobbed a little when I told her what I usually eat in the states (subway for launch, cold cereal for dinner). Add the fact of my mother’s strict régime; she was all agitated and angry toward my mother for imposing such a lifestyle on me.

Although, I have to say, it’s very nice having women fighting all over you like that, even if they were your mother and your grandmother. Usually, I just silently sit in the middle of them and sip my sweet Turkish coffee as they exchange loud arguments on what should or shouldn’t I eat. I’ve gotta admit that women’s quarrels is so much fun to witness as they usually to tend to be constructively bi-polar; one is destined to shape me into becoming a model figure and the other wants to feed me until I bloat. Oh well, I guess beggars cannot be choosers.

Frenzy Masturbation!

Now just before you shy red after reading the title, or switch to another blog or inform the government to regulate my blog (good luck on that by the way), I ask you to hold your horses. First, we cannot deny that masturbation has tremendous benefits for the health, especially for men. For example, masturbating four times a week can reduce the chance of getting prostrate cancer by 25%. However, there are sometimes when little habits can go overboard.

I was reading a novel called “The Average American Male” that tells a story about your average American male (duh!) and in one of the chapters, the protagonist of the story has masturbated 4 times just before he went on a date. Now, I realize this is a fiction; however, after reading the readers’ reviews and how they confirmed the reality of the novel, I thought this is the real deal: that American guys masturbate more than 4 times a day.

In order to feed the social psychologist in me, I ventured into a quest to find the real answer, and who is a better person to ask than your beloved American colleague. I started with James, who is famous for being a total playboy in the psychology department in my university.

Me: Say James, you do date a lot of women don’t you?

James flashed his white teeth, brushed his golden blond hair, adjusted his fitted t-shirt that was so tight on his 2% body fat frame, and displayed his cheek dimples. He was brimming with confidence.

James: Yes, I declare that I am guilty at charge.

Me: Well, I was reading this novel, and in one of the chapters, the protagonist undergoes frenzy masturbation four times just before he went on a date. Do you confirm that’s a regular habit you commit yourself?

James didn’t take too much time thinking. With a big grin on his face, he answered.

James: I can definitely assert that I often masturbate 4 times a day but I never did it that many times before I went on a date. I think you gave me an idea for a great challenge to beat my friend.

Although I didn’t get the exact answer I wanted to hear, but it was a positive start.

Me: Gee, thanks James.

James: No problem, my average looking friend.

Unsatisfied with the results that I obtained, I thought that I should ask my nerdy friend (and lab partner) Andrew if he can chip his two cents to the subject. You don’t know, looks can be deceiving, I thought.

Me: Say Andrew, how often do you jerk off on a daily basis?

Andrew squirted his iced mocha all over the place.

Andrew: Say what?

Me: Oh sorry. How often do you ejaculate on a daily basis?

Andrew: I understood it the first time you idiot. What kinda question is that?

I explained thoroughly to Andrew my story. He looked at me bitterly.

Andrew: How should I know? I rarely get out of the lab that I cannot even afford to wonder on my own fantasies. Although…

Andrew suddenly grew excited.

Andrew: Once I was alone in the lab, I masturbated on a refractive lens and inspected it under the microscope. Dude, it’s so cool. I finally got to see my boys alive and kicking.

I revolted. Picturing him doing that made me punch his face until he fainted. A single uppercut punch was enough to do that.

I wondered in the food court, trying to achieve some results for my hypothesis. I noticed a bunch of my female friends sitting in one of the tables. Even though my question deals with men, I thought I should ask them the same question and if they masturbate that often. Filled with confidence, I hippity hopped toward them with my burning question.

Me: Hi girls!

All: Hi Angelo!

Me: Say girls, I’m kinda conducing a survey in social psychology and I was wondering how often do you…

I couldn’t ask the question. They are girls, and you don’t ask this kind of question to girls. My integrity as a gentleman would be diminished. I thought to ask them a different innocent question.

Me: Do you go shopping on weekends?

Audrey, the leader of the group, raised from her chair looked at me with raging fire burning in her eyes.

Audrey: What kinda sexist question is that? What, do you think just because we are girls, all we care about shopping and sales? Men are such pigs.

Me: But I…

Audrey: And you know what? Thank God we love shopping. At least we get to work our bodies and burn some calories. All you men do is just jerking off like 4 times a day. You suck.

Audrey, all angered and agitated, left the table with her friends to the nearby junk store and bought dozens of double chocolate brownie to ease her stress. Despite I was declared a pig, she kind of answered my question in her ravishing, ultra feminist rant.

I halted my search for the day and decided to give it a rest for a while. Shortly after, my Kuwaiti friend called me over the cellphone and we started exchanging stories. I told him what I was doing that day. He made his hyper Kuwaiti laugh and without any hesitation, he replayed:

“Yam3aowad (I have no idea how translate that word to English), I masturbate like 5 times alone just when I take a shower”.

Utter silence ensued…