Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

The 5 Annoying People You Meet In Kuwait’s Movie Theater

Last time, I condensed my ranting thoughts regarding the annoying people that you meet in Starbucks all across America, but this time, I’m going for the people that are destined to drive you nuts while watching a movie in Kuwait.

Now, before I rumble on, you might ask “Angelo, why you are so bitter”?

I’m not bitter. In fact, I’ve been told that I am the most delightful person ever, and as a training psychologist, I am conditioned not to harshly judge people or make snap judgments, but I cannot hold my rage and frustration for the sake of science. Thus, I decided to abuse my blog as a source of agitation release. Here’s a word of advice before I start: if you are one of those annoying people I listed, be cautions, because I placed a voodoo curse on you that shall torment you until you repent. In no particular order, here’s my list:

  • The Duckman

Ducks are generally not permitted in movie theaters, but it seems it is the case in Kuwait. It’s very wonderful to witness God’s beautiful creatures manifested in a human being; however, listening to loud bursts of “Kaaaaak” laughs while watching a movie isn’t the most charming thing in my honest opinion. If I had the permission, I would have carried on the respectable laws of the jungle inside the movie theater, and became the hunter who seeks his pray with a shotgun, fated to blast the Duckman in the head.

  • The Gossip Girl

Did you know that Nora has just had her dress tailored from France? And have you heard that Aseel just gave birth to a deformed child? And can you believe that Othman just divorced his wife, Abraar, after 2 months of being married? No! Then I believe you weren’t going to movie theaters lately because it seems the cinema is the perfect hub to stock up with meaningless gossips and tattletales that would make any person to develop horns just by listening to them. Seriously, no XOXO for you, gossip girl, because you deserve a series of punches and kicks right in the gut.

  • The Bluetooth Whore

Countless high-tech wizards have hailed Bluetooth technology as one of the most convenient inventions in the wireless industry, but leave it to Arabs to turn a work of art to one of the most abusive tool ever created. The problem is that people still reluctant to turn off their damn cell phones even after a big bold message has flashed in the giant screen, ordering them to do so. Sometimes, I just wish the screen would develop an arm and bitchslap the Bluetooth abuser silly. Now, if that isn’t annoying to you, then how about a coughing ringtone that gets activated upon receiving a Bluetooth message on every damn second. It’s quite delightful, isn’t it?

  • The Incarnated Children of The Devil

Don’t believe in the devil or dying to meet one? No sweat! All you have to do, is to go to a PG-rated movie roughly around 6 or 7PM in one of the most crowded movie theaters in the country, while arming yourself with bottles of the holy water or verses from the Qu’ran, and you are all set. It was extremely enchanting watching The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian while a kid from the front seat gave up on watching a convoluted story that his tiny brain couldn’t absorb, and decided to stare at you instead. Not to mention the screams, the hyper laughs, and the countless donkey kicks from the hordes of children behind you. Even chanting, “may the power of Christ compels you” while shoving the cross down their throat didn’t work either. Perhaps mass cremation would do the trick.

  • The Clown Clapper

When a great movie comes to its finale, it is considered privilege decorum to give a round of applause as an appreciation for the good time you spent watching the movie. Occasionally however, you are destined to encounter an obnoxious dude who “overclaps” at every scene, even when the hero of the movie meets his surprising, unexpected death at the end of the movie. I tried to search through the DSM-IV to find a disorder that describes the presented symptom, and gladly I did. I think I’m more surprised to discover that Tourette’s disorder is a common syndrome among the Kuwaiti youth. This the perfect case study for my doctoral dissertation.

What Stress Can Do To You?

Stress can take it’s toll on you, although granted, it varies from person to person. Take this gentleman for instance who went from happy and fresh-faced to weary and shriveled in a span of in three years, if these photos are to be believed that is. The price paid for the life of a news anchor seems high indeed. And here I am, thinking that with its endless supply of anime, manga, and videogames, Japan would be stress-free.

What Would Children’s Illustrations Look Like In Real Life

Korean photographer Yeondoo Jung‘s series that recreates scenes found in children’s drawings is probably one of the most creative works I have ever seen. Some are funny, some fantastical, and some are simply surreal but all of them are beautiful. If these are indeed based on actual drawings by children, one wonders how close the photos came to the original scenes envisioned in each child’s mind.

Here are some photos along with captions I came up with.

Art #1: The Flying Witchman & The Shelf of Teacups

Art #2: My Life Is a Sitcom

Art #3: The Princess That Stands In Pink

Click Here For More

The 5 Annoying People You Meet In Starbucks

We all love Starbucks, and that’s a fact. However, once in every damn second there, you always have to encounter an annoying person that set you ballistic, even though they might not interact with you directly. They are the people they make you cringe with detest, commit suicide in the spot, or simply, give you the urge to beat the crap out of them. I summarize my ranting as follow:

  • The Writer Who Wants You to Know He’s a Writer

Yes, we all know that writing is a fascinating occupation, but unfortunately, unlike hookers and crack dealers, you cannot simply point them out by looking at them. However, when a person has to tell you that he’s a writer (intentionally), then writing suddenly becomes less impressive. Those kind of people usually go to the busiest Starbucks in town and pop open their Macs, making sure that the shining Apple logo is on display for everyone to see. Then they pretend to write, sigh, and brainstorm their thoughts. However, the most annoying behavior they exhibit that makes you want to go GTA on their asses is when they sit in a table that is usually reserved for four people.

  • The Guy Who Hates Starbucks But Goes There Anyway

The world is packed with shitheads and nobody can deny that, but there are those who realize they are complete shitheads, and yet, brag about it. I’m taking about that certain someone who won’t shut up about how crappy Starbucks is, and forget the fact he is ranting while waiting in line inside Starbucks. Then, they become more annoying when they super customized their coffee and inquire combination that doesn’t even exist at the menu, and then ask for Splenda instead of regular sugar. Those people deserve to be vanished from the face of the Earth, clear and simple.

  • Study Groups

Why go to a proper school library that is filled with textbooks, resources, and free computers when you have the most crowded Starbucks in the area. It definitely makes more sense to go to a place where noise is a popular demanding song, has tables that barely support an encyclopedia, and a crowd that’s yelling for a proper frappuccino. It’s like Turkish prison, except less gay sex and slightly better coffee.

  • Manager Who Refuses to Recognize the Words Small, Medium, and Large

Dear Starbucks Manager,

I understand, you’re a corporate guy and thus must abide by company policies by calling the different sizes by their Starbucks Christian names of Venti, Grande, et. But if I ask you for a small, don’t act like I’m speaking to you in that Native American language as if we were in war where coded messages were delivered. You’re familiar with the sizes small, medium and large, and if you’re not, then you might want to change underwear because there’s a good chance that you are wearing a Venti size boxer that isn’t big enough for your shit that you failed to wipe/wash from defecating at your customers.

Sincerely,

A bitter consumer

  • The Person Who Peruses the DVD/Music Section As If He Might Purchase Something

It’s really great when you’re waiting in line behind somebody only to realize that they’re not in line, but instead deciding whether or not they want to purchase “Akeelah and the Bee” DVD, which I am positively sure that no one ever bought. Yes, we know that you want to shed the stereotypes that white people don’t watch Black movies, but if that particular Black movie sucks, then we understand the reason that you didn’t see it in theaters. Now, would you please stop reading the back cover of the DVD case and order freaking coffee before I kick the crap out of you? Thanks.

Observations In Mishref Walkway

In keeping up with mom’s sudden régime in maintaining my weight (and losing more), she has also compiled a daily schedule for me to walk in Mishref Walkway, which is something I genuinely and highly approve of. It isn’t my first time in this particular walkway but it sure has been a long time since I’ve ever stridden there. However, the social psychologist in me couldn’t help but to monitor the crowd that uses the walkway, and thus, I brought together some general observations that I summed up below:

  • Time doesn’t remain a major obstacle to the visitors, as the walkway is generously crowded on each different time of the day. There are a surprising number of people in the morning, which is something I didn’t expect. However, I couldn’t help but to notice that is commonly packed out on weekends. I predict as the weather gets hotter over time, more people will become nocturnal and walk in the evening.
  • The “social gene” that Kuwaitis possess is still robust and active among the inhabitants of the walkway. It is quite uncommon to find to two people walking together but not talking or socializing. The intensity of the exercise is irrelevant; I have found several joggers and runners exchanging small words while committing on their activity.
  • Women clad in abayas and burqas is a common sightseeing as well, and they even remain in increasing numbers than those who do not wear them. However, further investigation regarding the manner revealed that those women aren’t necessarily veiled, and they only cover themselves when walking. The reason behind such behavior is that some of them wished to be anonymous from people who might know them because some women tend to gossip on who is trying to lose weight, and these kind of talks lean to be unfavorable to the woman who is trying to lose weight.
  • Unlike the women, the men using the walkway are generally fit, and their true intention is to sustain their fitness instead of losing weight. However, those who walk in purpose of losing weight are usually accompanied by their friends, and those who walk or run alone are usually fitted. Behavioral Psychology might explain this behavior in that overweight men become less intimated when they are accompanied by friends and family and shelter them from unnecessary attention from others.
  • The walkway is mostly used by the citizens; although, few South Asian expats are found there in the purpose of striking a conversation with the maids who accompany the children in the playground. Westerns expats generally use the walkway from early morning to late afternoon. Further investigation revealed that the expats usually prefer walking in the outside walkway of The Palms and the Scientific Center in Salmiya.
  • Other forms of walking aren’t commonly observed but exist; the females usually perform power walking while the males favor jogging and running instead.
  • Very few people remain hydrated while active but there are several large water fountains that are suitable for drinking along the walkway.
  • The walkway is 5 kilometers long (which is 10 kilometers upon walking back and forth once). However, most people usually walk between 6 or 7 kilometers. That is, walking for 3 or 3.5 kilometers once and repeats it while heading back.
  • Surprisingly, flirting (or harassing) among the walkers is either rare or nonexistent. There is a general amount of respect among the walkers.

And that concludes my observations. I might update the post upon further observations as I continue visiting the walkway. I’m also interesting in visiting other walkways in the country and conduct my observations and investigate the consistencies.

Frenzy Masturbation!

Now just before you shy red after reading the title, or switch to another blog or inform the government to regulate my blog (good luck on that by the way), I ask you to hold your horses. First, we cannot deny that masturbation has tremendous benefits for the health, especially for men. For example, masturbating four times a week can reduce the chance of getting prostrate cancer by 25%. However, there are sometimes when little habits can go overboard.

I was reading a novel called “The Average American Male” that tells a story about your average American male (duh!) and in one of the chapters, the protagonist of the story has masturbated 4 times just before he went on a date. Now, I realize this is a fiction; however, after reading the readers’ reviews and how they confirmed the reality of the novel, I thought this is the real deal: that American guys masturbate more than 4 times a day.

In order to feed the social psychologist in me, I ventured into a quest to find the real answer, and who is a better person to ask than your beloved American colleague. I started with James, who is famous for being a total playboy in the psychology department in my university.

Me: Say James, you do date a lot of women don’t you?

James flashed his white teeth, brushed his golden blond hair, adjusted his fitted t-shirt that was so tight on his 2% body fat frame, and displayed his cheek dimples. He was brimming with confidence.

James: Yes, I declare that I am guilty at charge.

Me: Well, I was reading this novel, and in one of the chapters, the protagonist undergoes frenzy masturbation four times just before he went on a date. Do you confirm that’s a regular habit you commit yourself?

James didn’t take too much time thinking. With a big grin on his face, he answered.

James: I can definitely assert that I often masturbate 4 times a day but I never did it that many times before I went on a date. I think you gave me an idea for a great challenge to beat my friend.

Although I didn’t get the exact answer I wanted to hear, but it was a positive start.

Me: Gee, thanks James.

James: No problem, my average looking friend.

Unsatisfied with the results that I obtained, I thought that I should ask my nerdy friend (and lab partner) Andrew if he can chip his two cents to the subject. You don’t know, looks can be deceiving, I thought.

Me: Say Andrew, how often do you jerk off on a daily basis?

Andrew squirted his iced mocha all over the place.

Andrew: Say what?

Me: Oh sorry. How often do you ejaculate on a daily basis?

Andrew: I understood it the first time you idiot. What kinda question is that?

I explained thoroughly to Andrew my story. He looked at me bitterly.

Andrew: How should I know? I rarely get out of the lab that I cannot even afford to wonder on my own fantasies. Although…

Andrew suddenly grew excited.

Andrew: Once I was alone in the lab, I masturbated on a refractive lens and inspected it under the microscope. Dude, it’s so cool. I finally got to see my boys alive and kicking.

I revolted. Picturing him doing that made me punch his face until he fainted. A single uppercut punch was enough to do that.

I wondered in the food court, trying to achieve some results for my hypothesis. I noticed a bunch of my female friends sitting in one of the tables. Even though my question deals with men, I thought I should ask them the same question and if they masturbate that often. Filled with confidence, I hippity hopped toward them with my burning question.

Me: Hi girls!

All: Hi Angelo!

Me: Say girls, I’m kinda conducing a survey in social psychology and I was wondering how often do you…

I couldn’t ask the question. They are girls, and you don’t ask this kind of question to girls. My integrity as a gentleman would be diminished. I thought to ask them a different innocent question.

Me: Do you go shopping on weekends?

Audrey, the leader of the group, raised from her chair looked at me with raging fire burning in her eyes.

Audrey: What kinda sexist question is that? What, do you think just because we are girls, all we care about shopping and sales? Men are such pigs.

Me: But I…

Audrey: And you know what? Thank God we love shopping. At least we get to work our bodies and burn some calories. All you men do is just jerking off like 4 times a day. You suck.

Audrey, all angered and agitated, left the table with her friends to the nearby junk store and bought dozens of double chocolate brownie to ease her stress. Despite I was declared a pig, she kind of answered my question in her ravishing, ultra feminist rant.

I halted my search for the day and decided to give it a rest for a while. Shortly after, my Kuwaiti friend called me over the cellphone and we started exchanging stories. I told him what I was doing that day. He made his hyper Kuwaiti laugh and without any hesitation, he replayed:

“Yam3aowad (I have no idea how translate that word to English), I masturbate like 5 times alone just when I take a shower”.

Utter silence ensued…

Worldwide Happiness

[click to enlarge]

This is a very interesting world map right there. Based on the map above, Kuwaitis aren’t exactly the happiest people on Earth but they certainly have it better comparing to the rest of the region. Several things we note from the map:

  • Emirates and Omanis are among the happiest people on Earth and the only ones in the Middle East that managed to break from the usual Middle Eastern gloom.
  • Venezuela is the only South American country with the highest percentage of happiness.
  • Almost all African countries are unhappy.
  • Japan needs to cheer up!
  • Papua New Guinea, unfortunately, has deprived Australia from becoming the world’s happiest continent.