Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

Are You A Perfectionist?

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Perfectionism is a belief that perfection can and should be attained. In its pathological form, it is a belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. At pathological levels, this is considered an unhealthy belief. Most people feel that perfectionism is something positive and by adhering that principle they can achieve anything. Psychologists argue that people should strive to be a healthy striver then a perfectionist. Others argue however, that perfectionism is like a dual-edge sword; it does have positive aspects such as driving people to accomplishments and motivations, and the tendency to have lower levels of procrastination. Here are some examples that can help you to identify whether you are a perfectionist or a healthy striver.

Perfectionist

  • Sets standards beyond reach and reason
  • Is never satisfied by anything less than perfection
  • Becomes dysfunctionally depressed when experiences failure and disappointment
  • Is preoccupied with fear of failure and disapproval–this can deplete energy levels
  • Sees mistakes as evidence of unworthiness
  • Becomes overly defensive when criticized

Healthy Striver

  • Sets high standards, but just beyond reach
  • Enjoys process as well as outcome
  • Bounces back from failure and disappointment quickly and with energy
  • Keeps normal anxiety and fear of failure and disapproval within bounds–uses them to create energy
  • Sees mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning
  • Reacts positively to helpful criticism

Blogging From The Classroom

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This is my first time blogging from class; I’ve never really done that before and I’m not inviting you for a celebration with me because it ain’t worth it. I am in my cancer class and the topic of today is molecular biology tools and how to use them to identify cancer. It’s an interesting topic for biology major but it is not for me. I’m planning to purse psychology as a major and a career (I’m double majoring). So the reason I am taking molecular biology is because I’m forced by the Ministry of Higher Education and I am not allowed to change majors (even though it was allowed before the new rules of 2005). However, psychology and molecular biology are interconnected especially when it comes to genetics, inheritance, and the nervous system. So, in the end it’s not that bad and presumably will boost my résumé in the future.

Is She A Better Runner?

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While I was jogging my way through the running trail today, I saw a young couple running together and none of them were ahead of each other. However, I couldn’t help but to notice that the girl was slowing her pace so she wouldn’t go ahead of her boyfriend (I’m assuming he is her boyfriend not her brother). She sure looked a bit more athletic than her boyfriend and didn’t mind fasten her pace at all. Was she intentionally doing that so she wouldn’t hurt her boyfriend’s “manhood”? Do women care about their men’s feelings and how important that they feel masculine enough?

Which reminds me of another day when I was jogging and this girl came behind me and was keeping up with me for like 2 minutes. I couldn’t keep up so I had to slow my pace to regain my breath. She passed me and then she turned around and smiled at me. I’m wondering if she was smiling (but secretly laughing inside) because I’m a total loser that couldn’t keep up with a girl, or if I was totally secure in my masculinity and she found that kinda cute. God only knows what she thought of me that day.

The Waiter Vs. Waitress Game

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While I was having a light lunch in a café with one of my friends, we came into discussion about waitressing and if gender plays a role in it especially since it is sexually ambiguous (remember waitressing is different than being a servant or a maid). I have pinpointed how a good waitress or a waiter behaves while serving other people; my observation however is culturally biased as my experiences arise from my time living in the US. Here are my observations so far:

• The Quality of a Good Waitress

Usually, a good waitress uses her charm while servicing a table (remember I said charm not body); she usually acts as the good girl living next door. Usually when you ask her about a specific recommended dish (i.e. grilled chicken dish), she stats her favorite first if she has one, and she doesn’t stop there and probably mentions other dishes in fear her dish might not strike the appeal of the customer. They usually enjoy talking and maybe mentions a couple of personal events and preferences; for example, once I mentioned to a waitress that we would like to have our dishes as soon as they become available because I wanted to catch the premier of LOST, and we wound up “recapping” he whole thing. Finally, 70% of good waitresses usually leavesa short cute comment on your receipt, which surprisingly works on increasing her tip very considerably.

• The Quality of a Good Waiter

A good waiter usually very confident when he talks and recommends dishes, and he usually stops by at least 4-5 times at your table without being obsessively obnoxious. He does enjoy talking but he rarely gets intimate or outside the frame of a subject. However, he may acts different around a table full of women; opposite of a waitress, which she usually resistance around full table of same and opposite sex individuals. However, if a good waiter screwed up, he usually doesn’t over-apologize (unlike a waitress) and to make-up his mistakes, he throws a dish free of charge.

The Verdict

Even though waitressing can be affected by gender; yet both waiters and waitresses demonstrate good qualities that distinguished them from each other; and they both take their job very seriously. Now, before you accuse me of being sexually-biased, please note that my observations come from my own experiences (I mean I didn’t do any field study to support my observations), and I don’t know if this is related but if you know me better, you would realize that I’m a big time feminist. You may critique now.

What’s Your Humor Style?

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What would you get when you combine humor with psychology; four types of humors of course. We discussed this last year at my personality class.

  • Put-Down Humor

This aggressive type of humor is used to criticize and manipulate others through teasing, sarcasm and ridicule; such as telling friends an embarrassing story about another friend, is a socially acceptable way to deploy aggression and make others look bad so you look good. When challenged on their teasing, the put-down joker often turns to the “just kidding” defense, allowing the aggressor to avoid responsibility even when it really hurts.

  • Bonding Humor

People who use bonding humor are fun to have around; they say amusing things, tell jokes, engage in witty banter and generally lighten the mood. These are the people who give humor a good name. A perfect real life example would be the comedian Ellen DeGeneres. However people with bond humor can have a dark side; they’d be polite to your face, but behind your back, they would unite in deriding you completely.

  • Hate-Me Humor

In this style of humor, they are the butt of the joke for the amusement of others. Often deployed by people eager to ingratiate themselves, it’s the familiar clown or “fat guy” playfulness that we always love. Habitually offering their image up to be humiliated and to erode their self-respect, thus, fostering depression and anxiety. It also can backfire by making other people feel uncomfortable.

  • Laughing At Life Humor

Someone with this outlook deploys humor to cope with challenges, taking a step back and laughing at the absurdities of everyday life. A great example would be The Onion newspaper. The problem with this is that life isn’t always funny and life sometimes wants us to take it very seriously.

Are You Anal?

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No, I’m talking if you prefer the anal position. I’m referring to the anal stage that psychologist Sigmund Freud mentioned in his popular psychosexual development theory on human’s behavior. Freud hypothesized that during the second year of life of children, their pleasures and conflicts usually center in the anal area. This stage is exemplified by a toddler’s pleasure in controlling his or her bowels. The inability to resolve the conflicts of this stage may cause anal retentive or anal expulsive fixations.

  • Anal Retentive individuals are those who overly worried about small details of form, style and etiquette; who are uptight or distressed over ordinarily minor problems, and unable to adopt a philosophical attitude toward mistakes.
  • Anal Expulsive individuals usually show exhibiting cruelty, emotional outbursts, disorganization, self-confidence, liberal-mindedness, (sometimes) artistic ability, generosity, rebelliousness, and general carelessness.

So, which one are you?