Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

5 Habits Women Would Love From Their Men

Men usually tend to think that women are the most complicated creatures ever, but they aren’t that different really. All they want is just a little attention. So to avoid those nasty “You never do anything romantic” arguments, there are a few habits women love that you can adopt to get on her good side. Arm yourself with this list that I devised and you should be fine, whether you are dealing with your wife or your girlfriend.

  • Receiving Compliments

Women usually love to be appreciated or get a boost in their self-assurance. So it is very important to be sincere when giving a compliment, and always be grateful on the amount of work she had to go through to transform herself from a regular girl to a hot diva for your sake. Even the simplest compliments such as “those jeans look great on you” can net you some love points that can be “cashed” later on.

  • Receiving Text Messages/Calling Her

Women don’t really pay attention to their cellphone bills and you should exploit that trait on your side. Always shower her with text messages to demonstrate that she is an integral part of your life. A simple poem and a funny joke can go a long way and can truly turn her day 180 degree. Also, try to call her every now and then and just asks her how her day is going along and if she needs anything for tonight’s dinner. That alone will make her deliriously happy.

  • Being A Priority

The most important thing to keep in mind is that women love being your number 1 priority. Sometimes, it is essential to sacrifice a night with the guys for a romantic dinner at home with her. However, if you had to go out, always try to keep her in touch by simply calling her or telling her, and that truly shows that her opinion matters to you. Also, it doesn’t hurt to bring her her favorite box of chocolate after spending the night with your buddies now does it?

  • Getting Constant Attention

Remember the old cliché that women like a good listener? Here’s a tip: Most clichés come from truth. Always keep an ear on what she’s saying and try to replay back, ask questions, and remember what she is saying because who knows when that conversation will pop up again. Also, try to apply this technique on everything; her dress, her haircut, and her perfume, all of that needs constant attention, so keep your ears, nose, and eyes open most of the time.

  • Surprising Her

Women love good surprises, whether they were big or small. For example, treating her on a surprise dinner in her favorite restaurant during weekdays can really lighten up her heart. Even small gifts can go a long way. For instance, if you happen to know her favorite music artist (which you should) then you ought to surprise her by buying the new album of that artist as soon it releases, and that alone would send her flying with joy.

A Dairy of A Videogame RPG Hero

Note: This is a dairy of a typical RPG hero that I totally made up. It is not based on a particular game.

  • Day One ~ Fetchcrap Village

It was a hell day in Fetchcrap Village. I’ve been running around like a madman for the last 5 hours. It seems everyone around here is lazy as always, and I am the designated guy to run around and fetch some stupid items and stuff from all over the place. I played a jump rope game with some kids, and apparently, they give away cool items based on the number of jumps made consecutively. I made 100 jumps without falling and they rewarded me with a nice piece of accessory that boosts my attack power by 30. Nice! Although, I don’t know if I ever going to need it since I’m stuck in this village for the rest of my life. Anyway, I have to go to sleep now since I have to retrieve some fish from the neighboring harbor.

  • Day Three ~ Fetchcrap Village

What the hall happened here? I’m been away for a couple of days and my town is completely destroyed and everyone has been killed. Who have done this shit? It seems my destiny has been changed, and I am set to embark on a vengeance journey that shall allow me to grow from level 1 to level 73 or something. I hope I can convince some crazy people to accompany me on this trip. I am in a desperate need for a healer, and a black mage isn’t bad either too.

  • Day Twenty One ~ Defecating City

God I’m awesome. I have been able to recruit more than 4 members in my party, and one of them is a smoking hot healer who apparently has amnesia after falling from the sky. I’m waiting for the right opportunity to bang her. I spent most of the day shopping for equipments, weapons and items for the journey. Man, some weapons were darn expensive but I’m pretty sure they will come in handy. Thank God the monsters in this area are full of dough. I mean the other day we defeated a monster and he dropped 10,000 Gils with 5000 EXP, 100 AP, and 20 SP. Yeah, don’t even try asking me what those mean, all I know is that they are making me stronger so that’s quite enough for me. The Inn in this town is sure is noisy but the beds are quite comfy. Time for some sleep.

  • Day Fifty Four ~ The Tall Boner Tower

Fuck this shit. I’ve been just defeated by my evil twin brother (who I didn’t know he existed in the first place) with a single slash from his sword. And what makes things worse is that my party companion, Victor, has been a traitor all this time. I need to get stronger fast so I can kick his ass. But first, we have to awaken the dormant spirits all across the world so they can aid us on this quest. Ahhh, I think this is going to take a while.

  • Day One Thousand & Thirty Five ~ Worldia Field Map

Check me out bitches! I am at level 92 and I have the best set of equipments and weapons like you can never imagine. I have more than 1,000,000 Gils, which should come in handy after I kick the crap out of my evil twin’s ass; I’m planning to retire and buy my very own island. But man, it sure took me a lot to get those ultimate weapons.  Right now, I have to fight a secret boss in the abyss of Earth, and apparently he’s 2 times tougher than my evil twin brother. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a big pain in the butt.

Fixing The Starbucks Experience

It’s no surprise that I have been a Starbucks Junkie since the day they opened their doors in Kuwait. As a matter of fact, I’m not addicted to coffee as much I am addicted to Starbucks, and I am pretty sure there are many people who are bucks addicts as well. However, in spite of all of that, even I assert that Starbucks isn’t the best coffee shop ever. There are quite a few things that deprive Starbucks from achieving its acclaimed experience, and I’d like to discuss those issues. Bear in mind that this is not a rant but more like a friendly criticism from a long time fan. Also, note that these issues are based on my current experiences in the US, not Kuwait.

  • Good Food For The Good People

Aside from its generous assortment of muffins, I would never ever buy food from a Starbucks store. Their sandwiches are dull and expensive, and their cakes are so dry that I almost finish my beverage out of thirst. Sure, many people don’t go to Starbucks to grab a bite but sometimes it becomes unenviable to get something to eat after spending the day there cramming for an exam. Instead of serving already-made cold sandwiches, Starbucks can spicy it up a notch by supplying its menu with hot bagels, Panini sandwiches, and variety of cheesecake. That way, Starbucks can even compete with Einstein’s Bros and Panera Bread in the bakery-café industry.

  • Tea Lovers Demand Some Love

The choices of tea that Starbucks offer are pretty pathetic. They lack broad selection of tea that other coffeehouse chains offer such as Pete’s Coffee & Tea and The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, and that really hurts the competition. How about offering some tea lattes for a change?

  • The Perfect Roast

Yes, Starbucks routinely over-roasts-but they don’t over-roast well. Their roasting needs to be adjusted to fit the more sophisticated palates people now have. People want to taste coffee, not just roast. Customers also want their beans to be freshly ground seconds before brewing a pot of coffee, not pre-ground before delivery, or ground in the morning to last the entire day. Fresh roast can really work wonders, so roast it up will ya!

  • Squeeze Me Some Orange

Almost every small coffee house I visit in the US, they serve freshly squeeze orange juice that is instantly ready for pick-up. Some people like to have a “citrusy” flavor in the morning along with their cold sandwich. I am not asking for a Jamba Juice, all I want is some orange for those of us who are vitamin C deprived.

Well, that’s pretty much I can think of right now. How about you? Is there anything you would like to change or improve for a better Starbucks experience?

Why I’ll Never Be A Doctor

Small conversation I came up with while playing sucking at Trauma Center: New Blood.

“Dr. Angelo, please begin the procedure. Yes, use the magical all-healing antibiotic gel to close up those small lacerations”.

I splash the antibiotic gel all over the patient’s body.

“It’s awesome, isn’t it? The future sure is great, what with gels can be used these days.
Okay, make a small incision and we’ll take a look inside”.

I make a long incision that almost sliced the patient’s chest in half.

” Dr. Angelo. Now just…HEY HEY WHOA HEY WAIT HEY WHAT HEY STOP!”

“Hm?”

“Doctor, what the fuck are you doing? You’re killing our patient!”

“I’m just — I’m detaching these pacemaker wires, right? And I was going to move it from the heart to the tray, you know, so there aren’t any wires in her chest cavity. Right?”

“Are you fucking mad? You have to detach both of the wires before you do anything else, touch anything else! If you so much as touch the first wire to remove it before detaching the others, you’ll totally kill our patient! Kill her dead!”

“But it’s already out of her heart. It’s not even hitched up anymore, see? So I’ll just get it out of the way–”

A massive hemorrhage erupts. The patient’s heart spontaneously explodes. Locusts consume her brain and crawl out of her eyes.

“Hey, way to go Doctor. You just killed our patient. Well, let’s start over so your reign of terror can carry onward”.

“Ahh fuck!

*sigh* “Well, how about we close up the patient’s chest with stitches?”

I swiftly stitch the patient’s breasts together by mistake.

My Top 10 Hottest Female In Gaming

Sure, we guys love to play videogames most of the time, but we also enjoy the leisure of gawking at hot female characters made of pixels and digital inputs. At this day and age, videogames are becoming more realistic, and sometimes, characters are turning to become more beautiful and sexy than some real life models. My job to pick 10 hottest female characters in videogame is a hard one but not entirely impossible, especially since I decided only to pick one female character from each game series (which means selecting the entire Dead Or Alive gals is a big no-no). Again, this is my list, not yours, so don’t be upset if your favorite vixen didn’t made my list. Hey, life is a bitch, so deal with it.

10. Princess ZeldaThe Legend of Zelda Series

It’s quite impossible not to admire one of the oldest and hottest princesses in the videogame medium. After all, if Link is willing to drop everything for her and rescue her in every incarnation of the Zelda franchise then so can we. Zelda is probably the only character in my list that is quite modest and elegant in uniform, but we all know that underneath this royalish attire is a one hot sexy body. Plus, she got a hot set of ears that is impossible not to “foreplay” with.

9. HitomiDead Or Alive Series

What can I say; Hitomi’s has the looks of an innocent schoolgirl, which I adore for reasons that should land me in jail. Her blue eyes, her small luscious lips and those sexy curves are certainly to die for. Whether I am dead or alive, Hitomi shall be one of my strongest contenders in my list.

8. Sophitia AlexandraSoul Edge/ Soulcalibur

Lady Sophitia is possibly the hottest mom among all the characters of the gaming medium. With the look of a Greek goddess and a voluptuous body that can kick major ass, Sophitia stands as one of the most beautiful female fighters ever created. Of course her strong will and determination are something to appreciate as well.

7. EVAMetal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

Guys often have a weakness for bad girls, and Snake is no exception. Not only she used her charm and good looks to win over the trust of Snake but she also used it against his enemies in MGS3: Snake Eater. She looks fabulous in a bikini, she’s dangerous and she’s got crazy magnetism. She’s might not be the ideal woman but to deny her beauty is a true abomination.

6. Ada WongResident Evil 2/ Resident Evil 4

Ada Wong is still a compelling figure as the femme fatale of the popular game series, and utterly the most seductive character ever created. Her sexy red dress and seducing black high heels have made her quite recognizable among gamers, and the fact she oozes sexiness even in zombie infested wastelands makes her a true beauty among the thorns.

5. Lara CroftTomb Raider Series

Is there any doubt that Lara Croft is the perpetual video game heroine? This buxom adventurer has become a cultural icon and probably one of the fewest videogame characters that broke through the mold of the gaming medium into the masses. With completely eye-popping and disproportionate features (and a sizable arsenal of firearms), Lara is truly the incarnated figure of Angelina Jolie, and vice versa. She still stands as the world most famous heroin, and her share of adventures gives Indiana Jones a run out of his money.

4. Mai ShiranuiFatal Fury Series

Anyone who played Fatal Fury or King of Fighters knows that Mai is a standout characters among the growing roster of female fighters in SNK universe. Her provocative body, her bouncy bosom, and her delicate face are one of the many reasons that gamers drool over her. Mai doesn’t mind that her sleeveless ninja outfit is barely adequate to cover her ample breasts, but some say that’s her part of strategy to distract her opponents.

3. Samus AranMetroid Series

Considered the first lady of the gaming world; Samus Aran hands down is the biggest tease Nintendo ever created (even among their hush-hush release dates). She’s always wearing that damn suit and refuses to take it off unless you beat the game with a respectable time (or item collection) record. Upon completion, Samus stripes down to a tight bikini suit that shows her stunning 6’3″ body frame and a radiant blonde hair. Hell, she’s so sexy that even the good old Solid Snake wanted to have sex with her, so I really cannot be blamed for liking her so much.

2. Tifa Lockhart Final Fantasy VII

It was quite tough to choose the female candidate to represent the entire female cast of Final Fantasy series, but Tifa beckoned among them all and shattered through the frame with her deadly martial arts. Even though she can be insecure, Tifa is one of the more richly drawn and intricate female characters around. With her sultry outfits, delicate looks, and the sleek black hair, Tifa doesn’t really need her fists to do the talking; her body alone is enough to KO most of her opponents…even monsters.

1. Aya Brea Parasite Eve Series

One of the things that turns me on is when a girl doesn’t realize how hot she is, and Aya is definitely a woman that doesn’t really pay attention on how she looks because she let her natural beauty speaks for itself. Saying goodbye to her sexy nightgown after the first hour of the game is one of the hardest farewells a gamer has ever gone through. Even though Aya’s DNA is quite messed up (she’s an Artificial Neo-Mitochondrial breed) her short blond hair, her serious looks, and her sex appeal are quite worthy to ever conceive a genetically-mutated child with her.

Are You A Typical Kuwaiti Man?

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“Angelo, you are so not a typical Kuwaiti”.

Honestly, I have been hearing this sentence since the day I was born. Through my life, this sentence is always used in both negative and positive lights. For example, one friend of mine was so angry that I’m not good at playing football that he yelled “What kind of Kuwaiti who doesn’t know how to play a freaking football?” And another friend of mine was impressed that I read books for pleasure and she has said once “Wow Angelo, you read books? That is so not what a Kuwaiti would do”.

So, as you can see, being called untypical Kuwaiti guy can have its ups and downs. Thus, I have derived a list (based on my experiences) on what it takes for a person to be qualified as a typical Kuwait person. Please note that this post isn’t intended to be serious, or offensive for that matter. It’s for your pleasure only!

What Makes You A Typical Kuwaiti Man?

1. You are good at playing football but lack the footballer’s body
2. You love playing “Kout Bo Setah” but hate playing Uno
3. Your Playstation 2 can only play Winning Eleven
4. You eat with your bare hands…even when dine in a restaurant.
5. Your idea of “dating” is to chase girls around at “The Love Street”
6. You don’t read books for pleasure
7. Your taste in western music is based on the current, generated hype
8. You fart in front of your friends
9. You make the “KAAAK Laugh” at the movies
10. Beirut, London, and Bangkok are your ideal vacation spots
11. Your average cell phone bill is beyond 100KD
12. You cannot live without an “European Satellite Dish”.
13. You watch football more than an English man would normally watch
14. Your idea of liberalism is to drink and have sex but not to eat pork
15. You consider Stallone, Van Damme, and Segal as your favorite actors
16. Most of your jokes are based on Kuwaiti comedy plays
17. You cannot joke with your friends unless you cuss
18. Your cell phone is filled with jokes and pornographic text messages
19. You cannot accept girls as your friends or as colleagues
20. You always accept girls as your girlfriends
21. High school is your favorite period of your life
22. You smoke in the non-smoking areas
23. You think a dishdasha creates a true man
24. You want your wife to be an exact replica of your mother
25. You show (or pose) your muscles in your facebook and Hi5 accounts
26. You use famous football players and movie stars as your online avatars
27. Your English vocabulary is based on Rap music
28. You consider Gulf Road as a Formula-1 track
29. Your only use of English is when you use the “IRC language”
30. You cannot live without having a loan or a mortgage

Now, if you satisfy at least 10 conditions from the provided list then consider yourself a typical Kuwaiti man. Honestly, I can add more than 30 conditions but I had to stop at some point. Again, I hope you take this post as it’s originally intended. After all, I am a Kuwaiti and damn proud to be one.

The Imaginary World Of Women

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I want to start this discussion in an objective manner rather being subjective. That is, free from personal biases. It’s no brainier that we live in a world of men despite the fact that men are currently a minority in some countries according to world’s population. But what would happen if there’s been a shift in power and women became the dominating power of the world, specifically in the political medium? Many says that women shouldn’t have a role in politics simply because they lack the intelligent to understand the game of politics, or simply, they are too kind to construct a political decision without consulting their hearts first before their brains. But then again, most of nowadays leaders (political and religious alike) are men who have no ounce of compassion to the human race. They tend to follow the rules of mind instead the rules of the heart. Wouldn’t the world be in a better place if compassionate, sympathetic individuals took charge in these situations? One might argue that there would be fewer wars if women ruled the world, and that’s a feasible consequence that even I agree upon.

Unfortunately however, the situation isn’t black and white. Throughout the history, women have always dipped their hands in the art of war and violence in some shape or form. For example, didn’t a woman brought down the Roman Empire? Didn’t a Princess caused World War 1? Wasn’t Golda Meir who resolved to the tactics of war instead of tactics of peace? What about female suicide bombers? The list goes on and on.

I am a male feminist after all. I embrace and encourage gender equality and female empowerment because I personally believe when you empower a woman; you empower the whole family, and eventually the entire society. However, when I show my support for women leaders (or the proposal of female judges) that doesn’t necessarily mean that those women would bring peace and prosperity to the world simply because they are female. No, I support them because I’m embracing gender equality in politics, and maybe, just maybe, their visions that I might find them ideal and prosperous. After all, there are no conclusive evidences that women are absolute caregivers of peace, nor the opposite. Another angle that’s worth looking into is that women don’t generally agree with women. Do all American women agree with Hilary Clinton’s visions and ideals? What about the recently assassinated Pakistan’s Benazir Bhutto? Your answer might work with your agenda, but certainly not a true representative of the whole population, regardless if you are male or female.

Kuwaitis & The Cheesecake Factory

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One of things that increased my fascination while studying abroad is Kuwaitis’ love for the restaurant The Cheesecake Factory. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the restaurant, The Cheesecake Factory is famous for its upscale casual dining atmosphere and the extensive menu that offers more than 200 selections of appetizers, pizza, pasta, seafood, steaks, salads, and sandwiches. Of course, not to mention it’s diverse assortment of cheesecake such as the Original Cheesecake, Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake, Vanilla Bean Cheesecake, Oreo Cheesecake, Caramel Pecan Cheesecake, and so on.

Now, here is the thing. Despite that the Cheesecake Factory offers almost anything that might come to mind (they even offer kebabs), most of these dishes are mediocre in taste at best. That is, they don’t offer the best pasta dish, or the best chicken entrée around; you even forget the taste before you leave the restaurant. Now, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad place to dine in, it’s just as I mentioned above: it’s mediocre. What fascinates me however, is why Kuwaitis keep going to this place whenever they don’t know where to dine in? I developed couple of hypothesis and here are some of them:

  • Kuwaitis are known for their unfixed taste buds. Sometimes, it is better to go to a place where it offers an array of dishes just so you can shut everybody’s up, instead of nagging over a specific restaurant that offers a specific cuisine.
  • Kuwaitis, in general, have eyes bigger than their stomach. They tend to order too many appetizers in which they completely fill in before their main entrees arrive. Thus, they love to debate over a limited selection of the appetizers, but their arguments usually fail and wound up ordering half of the appetizer menu. Cheesecake Factory is one of the few restaurants that offer that opportunity.
  • Kuwaitis, most of the time, value the atmosphere more than the food, and usually Cheesecake Factory is located in a nice indoor mall, which makes it an ideal place to dine in after a long day of shopping.
  • Kuwaitis love cheesecake. End of the sentence.
  • Cheesecake Factory isn’t very cheap nor overly expensive, which makes it the perfect place to hold a “dinner activity”. A quick search at their “activities” in NUKS.ORG and you will discover what I mean.

Now, you might ask me, what the hell I’m babbling about? I don’t know really, I’m just sharing my thoughts. And you might ask, do I love this place? My answer would be yes because; I am a Kuwaiti after all. Another question would be, do I want this restaurant to be imported to Kuwait? Yes, that would be awesome. And finally, you might ask, would I be a frequent customer if the restaurant got imported? No, because I love to discover new places to dine in and probably it would have too many Kuwaitis to handle in one place.

Mental Disorders That Can Get You Laid

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This very rare condition arises as a result of a stroke or head trauma in which the brain’s speech center is damaged, causing the sufferer to regain consciousness with a totally different accent. It is known that foreign accents immediately make you more interesting and exotic to the opposite sex, even if you’re a fat and ugly. The trouble is, you don’t know which accent you’re going to get. If only there is a way that enable you to adapt Jude Law’s accent with ease. 

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One hand appears to act independently of the rest of the sufferer’s body, performing complex actions that are often in direct opposition to the person’s intention. This syndrome is a gift for a shy person. Say a hot girl is throwing you signals and winks all around but you are shy to do anything. Fear not then, your disordered hand might act upon your deep thoughts and do so something…unexpected. 

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For synesthetes, the stimulation of one sense causes the automatic stimulation of another, resulting in the ability to taste shapes, see music and countless other variations. Furthermore, synesthesia has long been associated with high levels of creativity, and everybody knows that chicks dig creative guys.