A Night With Bush And A Reading With Al Aswany

Earlier tonight, I was able to catch the premier of Oliver Stone‘s controversial biopic film W., which stars Josh Brolin as the current president of the United States, George W. Bush. The theater was generously packed (almost full) but what was most interesting to me was the reception I perceived from the audience, especially since I live in a predominately democratic, liberal county in the state of Colorado. Some of the attendants were waiting for the right, “comedic” opportunity to laugh at Bush, and others were deceitfully sympathetic regarding his character and actions in the film. I’m going to save the details for the review (which I’m going to postpone it for tomorrow since I’m quite tired right now) but the thing is, I really had a nice time watching the movie, and it actually made me think and reflect regarding the real George Bush.

My next surprise is when I found out Alaa Al Aswany‘s famous novel, Chicago, being both translated and published in English. I heard great things regarding the novel from many of my friends who read the Arabic version, which eventually  led me to buy the book when I went to Dubai last summer, but unfortunately never had the chance to read it. In fact, it is still probably nicely sealed and carefully placed in my bookshelf back home. If The Yacoubian Building is any indication (since my mom gave it her seal of approval), I think I’m going to enjoy reading this one. Thankfully, I just finished Charles Bukowski’s Post Office so the book wouldn’t have come at a right time than this.

Blog Readability Test: Yours And Mine

Recently, my friend who happens to lurk around my blog sent me the results of an application that measures the level of education that is required to read a blog or a website (Phew! That was a mouthful). Apparently, all you have to do is input the URL of that specific blog or website, and then it gives you the results instantly. My friend took the test for me, and the result was shocking at first. It seems in order to understand my blog you must have a high school level of reading education or up.

I was bumped!

However, my friend eased my worries by pointing out the fact that having a lower level means more accessibility to a wider range of audience, and that made me quite happy to be honest.

So, I took the initiative and did the test for several of my favorite blogs. Now, if you feel that I have crossed the line in exposing your blog with such kind of information, please feel free to notify me and I’ll remove it as fast as possible. And please note that the credibility of this application is still undetermined; so don’t take the results too seriously. Otherwise, take a look at what I got so far:

• 2:48AM – Junior High
• Anything Goes – Genius
• Bojacob’s Den – Elementary School (WTF!)
• Couch Avenue – Junior High
• Erzulie: Seeing Red – High School
• Here, There, And Everywhere – Junior High
• Jewaira’s Boudoir – Junior High (Seriously, WTF!)
• Over-Egg The Pudding – High School
• The M Code – College (Post Grad)
• Z District – Junior High

So congratulations to 3baid, I guess, for having a Genius level that outmatches most blogs I can think of. It seems he is deeper than I originally thought, which shouldn’t come as a surprise since he comes up with his own quotes and personal sayings that are brimming with wisdom and intellectuality.

But still, that doesn’t hide the fact that the application is a little iffy…

SFW Porn Ad [Or Is It?]

This is has got to be one of the funniest viral videos I’ve ever seen. The video claims to be SFW, but it is so NOT in my opinion. Watch it only if you are over 18 and/or have an incredible sense of humor. Otherwise, avert your eyes and go read something else. Hey, there’s always Archive.

Oh Snap! I Have Been Paparazzied!

Last night, the guys and I decided to go for a movie after dinner. As usual, I picked to watch a different movie than theirs; while they made a decision to watch Body of Lies, I was more eager to watch the movie adaptation of a fantasy novel I just read and reviewed, The City of Ember. After an hour and a half, sitting through what I affirm the worst movie adaptation in the history of cinema, I found out that I had at least 40 minutes to spare before Body of Lies finishes its run. So, I resolved to head to the nearby Borders store and have some coffee at Seattle’s Best upstairs, and maybe enjoy reading a book.

Finally, I went there, picked Post Office, had my coffee, and sat at one of those leather chairs you see at similar coffeehouses. Not long after that, a guy came in from the top floor entrance of the store along with a bag of McDonald’s Dollar Menu. He was a tall man, warning some sort of a fedora hat that covered most of his brownish hair expect for his ponytail, and a backpack that is generally used for hiking. I didn’t want to occupy my time with him; we have our fair share of weirdos in our area and I’m kinda used to it. So, he sat in the chair across of me, munching from whatever came out of his McDonald’s bag – which I’m pretty sure it’s not permitted inside the store – while reading a newspaper he placed on the small coffee table.

The man finished his meal, tossed his McDonald’s bag aside, wiped his hands using a napkin, and then grabbed a small digital camera from his backpack. Even though I was reading, I couldn’t help but to notice the unsettled movement across of me. He started to take some pictures without using a flash. I thought he was just taking some pictures of the interior of the store. And he was, for a while before I felt that his lens was aiming at me.

*Snap*

He took a picture of me. I thought maybe he’s taking a picture of whatever was or were behind me, so I didn’t react.

*Snap*

OK, this one was definitely aiming at me. The guy is nuts, I thought. And just before he took a third one, I lowered my book from my face, and looked at him.

“Excuse me, are you taking pictures of me?”

He freaked out.

“Oh man, you ruined it, that was supposed to be the perfect shot”

Now, the rest of the people who sat next to us were started to stare at us. I frowned.

“Of what?”

“Of you of course. You had a gripping look while you were engrossing in reading that book of yours. I couldn’t help but not to take some pictures.”

“Gripping” “engrossing”

His choice in vocabulary isn’t as bad I thought it would be, coming from a hippy-looking person, but still, I was pissed.

“And who the hell gave you the authority to do that?”

“I didn’t want to bother you. I wanted to take a natural looking picture”.

“Still, that doesn’t give you the permission to go around and take people pictures as you please. There’s something called privacy, I suggest you look it up while you are in a bookstore”.

“But you looked so good”.

That’s it. Either he had a sick crush on me or he was just plain idiot with a fedora hat. Few seconds and the young woman who was handling the music section of the store came just in time before I kicked his ass. I thought, “Where the hell have you been from the moment that guy entered the store with his McDonald’s bag”.

“Is there a problem, sir?”

“Yes, there’s a problem. My problem is that gentleman over there is taking pictures of me without permission”.

Then she quickly swirled her whole body to his direction, in one single motion. I thought she was a robot or a cyborg.

“Sir, you cannot take pictures inside the store. It’s forbidden”.

“Forbidden?”

“Yes, it’s the store’s policy”.

“Screw your policies. I am a man of free will”.

I shouted.

“I am a man of free will myself, but you don’t see me taking pictures of people without them knowing”.

He quickly packed his stuff and looked at the young woman.

“That’s the last time I’ll ever come to one of your stores. It’s the last time!”

And then, just a like a broken record, he repeatedly mumbled his last sentence, and even started to talk to the people nearby regarding his unfair treatment. Thankfully, no one gave him a damn attention to him until he finally got out of the store. I was pissed and just wanted to get the hell out of here. As I was heading downstairs, my phone beeped and it was my friend Jay. You guys remember him, right?

“Hey, we are done with the movie. Where are you?”

“At Borders”

“Good. Stay right there while I go to the Apple store nearby to pick a Nano. You finally convinced me to buy one after you showed me yours today”.

“I don’t care. I just want to get the f*** out of here right now”.

“Why? What happened?”

“I have been paparazzied!”

I Lol’ed

United States of Obesity Map (2008)

Woot! Congratulations to Colorado (my State) for having the lowest percentage of obesity in all of the States in America, and thus becoming the leanest State comparing to the others. I can substantiate with the provided map and with CalorieLab‘s findings that a huge percentage of people in Colorado are health freaks, especially in Boulder and Colorado Springs. The students in my university are certainly in top shape, and attending the gym is almost a required schedule in their academic life. I won’t deny the fact that witnessing those athletic youths (whether they were men or women) had certainly motivated me to get into shape and I’m glad to confess that I actually lost tons of weight comparing to the late years of high school in Kuwait. The determination is certainly awe-inspiring.

Good job Coloradoans! Keep up the good work-out!

Are You Registered To Vote?

While walking around campus this week…

Person A: Are you registered to vote?

Me: No, but I wish I could. I’m not a citizen.

************

Person B: Hey, you look all liberally and open-minded? Are you voting for Obama?

Me: Oh, I would love to, but I’m not a citizen. Boohoo

************

Person C: Hey, you look like a McCain-Palin guy! Are you voting for them?

Me: Oh God no! I’m not interested in voting for a dinosaur and its drag queen.

Person C: …

Me: Ahhh, I mean I’m not a citizen. I cannot vote.

Person C: Then, here’s a deal. I’ll let you marry my sister, you get the green card, and in return, you vote for McCain.

Me: …you are kidding! Please, tell me you are kidding.

Person C: Hahahaha, yeah I am.

Me: Phew! You just startled me there.

Person C: No seriously, would you like to do that?

*Runs*

Which Woman Has The Perfect Body?

Women favored the slim body of Tillie, while men lusted over Anna's size 12 figure.

This post might be a little NSFW due to the images attached, so be cautious.

The British website Fabulous Mag has conducted a survey asking the visitors of their website (men and women) about their most ideal body type for a woman, and the results came quite shocking. It seems men and women have very different ideas about the perfect female figure. According to the results, it has been found that:

• Women yearn for the waspish waist of a size 8 model; men hanker after a curvy size 12 with hips.

• When men were asked what they would alter about their partner’s appearance, the majority said they were perfectly happy. In fact, the only thing they’d wish for that their women would love their bodies as much as they do.

• When asked about which female celebrity has the best body, men chose the English model/actress Kelly Brook as their ideal prototype, while women favored the English actress/model/singer/TV presenter Myleene Klass.

So girls, don’t blame us men for the long hours you stay in the gym or for the extensive months of deprivation you have to put up through to gain the perfect body. It’s your own delusions that have been keeping you away from that Haagen-Dazs pint in your fridge. Us men are reasonable creatures (well, sort of), we ain’t demanding much.

• For a much detailed report, click HERE and HERE

Kelly Brook - Men's favorite body for women

Myleene Klass - Women's ideal body for women

Post-Mortem: Dubai Trip

It’s been almost a week since I got back from Dubai, but the lazy bum that I am, I had to wait for like six days to talk about it. Every time, I tell myself that this would be the last time I abandon my blog for more than a week, I find myself abandoning it for too long, to the fact I started to lose readership (an unfortunate loss for a long time blogger).  So, I’ve asked myself: how would I repay the debit for all of that? Well, by writing a semi-comprehensive post that’s how. Allow me to share my insights regarding my trip to Dubai with my aunt and her “delightful” daughters.

Things I Loved In Dubai

• Aside from the elevated, breathtaking skyscrapers that seem to stand high among the sky, it was the amount of construction that is going on that left a big impression. I’ve no idea when the constructions in Dubai will ever come to an end. It’s like a continuous cycle of death and rebirth; for every old constriction that goes down, a new one emerges out of nowhere in its place.

• The diversity of people there never seizes to amaze me. I think Dubai is becoming the new London in terms of being a multi-cultural city. I found it very refreshing.

• Another thing that I loved is that everyone seems to mind his/her own business. That is, you won’t find people starting at people, or horny men harassing/staking girls in malls. There is an apparent amount of respect among the residents and visitors of the city in spite how different they look or the choice of clothes they wear. Very distinctive indeed of what we have here in Kuwait.

• The quantity of tourism and activities. If you think that Dubai is just a place where you just go and shop, then you are terribly wrong my friend. Unfortunately, you have to be loaded with dough to enjoy everything Dubai has to offer.

• Mall of The Emirates! That place is like a shopping heaven. You are bound to find every single item in your shopping list there. Prepare to spend a whole day (or a two) there to enjoy every nook and cranny of this humongous mall.

Things I Hated In Dubai

• The traffic, especially between 5PM to 9PM. No day goes by that I don’t get nuisance from the constant braking in the midst of the traffic. Having a full bottle of Perrier at the end of the day has totally become a daily ritual.

• The taxi drivers! Half of them have developed quite an attitude, and some of them tend to develop a terrible body odor during rush hours. Keep a vomit bag handy whenever you ride a cab.

• There are many conmen and people who wish to embezzle you, and cash in from your naïve knowledge. Make sure you equip yourself with basic familiarities regarding the cost of items and such. And be extra careful on whoever tries to befriend you out of nowhere. Even though I hate to endorse a stereotype, but some of the people living in Dubai has no humane conscious at all.

• The customer service in some stores is really terrible, and yes, Zara is still one of them. Some of them really look down at you as if you are asking for their charity. My advice: become a total bitch whenever they act in a derogatory manner toward you. Show them who’s the boss.

Gallery

The Chinese ship in Ibn Battuta Mall is glaring at the visitors.

Is that the flight info screen? No, wait! That's the movie schedule screen. Enjoy almost censorship-free movies in any of Dubai’s big cinemas.

A Meydon future project in BurJuman shopping center.

Behold! Mall of the Emirates...and Modhish!

On the road, heading back home after a full day of shopping.

The Couple That Mesmerized Me

Observing people isn’t something new to my personality, and God knows how many observations I’ve written so far in my blog. But the thing is, I don’t like to stare at someone for a long time and then “gossip” about it. I believe the definitions of observing and staring are dissimilar, but you might disagree with me on this one.  The other day, I was at the Burger Boutique with several of my friends, just a casual gathering in attempt to catch up with those who graduated from the university. Obviously, I was engaged with all the discussion that was going on around the table. A couple entered the restaurant…

Pause

How fascinating that I was able to recall the following with a vivid memory, or at least made me think of stuff I wouldn’t normally think of.

Resume

The couple was definitely in their mid-twenties, and a quick glance on their ring fingers and there they are, wedding rings. Even though I’m not a materialistic person per se, I couldn’t help but not to notice their gleaming garments. The young woman wore a short skirt that goes beyond the knees but revealed a small amount of skin leg. It had a graceful sweep with not very crinkled but sensual texture that made it comfortable yet elegant. Her top consisted of a fitted, short-sleeved blouse that was finely accessorized with a simple chic necklace. She shared the same length as her husband and her body frame was nicely robust but feminine as well. She didn’t apply too much makeup at all; just a light blush on her angle-like cheeks, pink lipstick that gave a subtle gliding effect and sensual shine, and finally, a small eye makeup that wasn’t excessive. Her hair was a little beyond shoulder length and she gently let it loose to her back. Her facial features were delicate, all of it: lips, eyes, nose, and ears. She wasn’t what you call a sexy woman, but she certainly was beautiful and cute: my ideal combination.

The husband was genuinely handsome, and that’s a fact I cannot hide. He was slightly above average height with a fit (presumably athletic) body, but he wasn’t buffed. He wore long pants that nicely extend his length, with a dark brown leather belt. His Banana Republic-esque shirt was fitted and tucked in and nicely hugged his upper body. He wore slightly loose thin tie with an open collar, which gave him a chic casual look rather than an intimidating cooperate feel. He moved his long shirtsleeves a little beyond his wrists, but instead of rolling it, he buttoned it. He had a dark, black short hair that had a nice shiny texture, thanks to a small application of a hair cream. His face gave a nice Gulf (Khaleejy) modern look; big brown eyes, long and straight nose, small lips, and long but not bushy eyebrows. His goatee was nicely trimmed and thin, coupled with hidden (not quite apparent) dimples. He was easy on the eyes.

Pause

Yes, I realize what you are thinking? You think I went overboard with this and maybe coming out slightly creepy. Actually I think I have a talent in describing people vividly even if I met them for a brief moment, however; I wish I had the same talent in recalling people’s names.

Resume

Sitting quite adjacent from their table, I couldn’t help but to subtly look at them but I wasn’t able to hear their voice but only when they had their order taken. The man spoke a standard American English (either he studied aboard or was taught English from his early childhood) when he was talking to the waitress; the wife wasn’t bad either, she had a sassy Kuwaiti accent but wasn’t too obnoxious that you wanted to kill yourself. The couple certainly engulfed my heart, and actually made me want to get married. Sure, I had many discussions regarding marriage but I wasn’t completely swept by the idea that it will happen anytime soon, simply because I want to establish myself professionally before tying the knots. However, I cannot help that I didn’t think about it excessively that day. The couple seemed quite in love, quite modern, and quite compatible. It was a long time since I wanted to be in somebody else’s shoes, but I certainly didn’t jinx them or was all evil eye-like. I cannot wait to be at that point of my life.

Pause

I really hope that wasn’t too creepy or weird. I would hope you consider this post as inspirational.